Smoke brisket not Meth
Smoke brisket not Meth
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Life is full of choices.
Some people choose chaos.
You choose brisket.
Introducing the “Smoke Brisket, Not Meth” tee — because if you’re going to spend 12 hours obsessing over something, it should be a beautifully marbled hunk of meat, not a crime that ends with your mugshot on a local Facebook group.
Made from soft, premium cotton and printed in the USA.
Support a small business, not a sketchy operation in a Winnebago.
Perfect for BBQ competitions, tailgates, backyard bragging, and subtly reminding your weird cousin that hobbies are supposed to be legal.
Features:
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Comfortably bold
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Boldly judgmental
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Judgement delivered with the smoky confidence of a brisket master
Warning:
Wearing this may cause:
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Random strangers to fist-bump you
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Someone named Earl offering to show you his smoker setup
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Zero meth-related activities (ideal)
Smoke meat, not your life.
Shop small. Stay brisket blessed.
ABOUT OUR PRODUCTS
ABOUT OUR PRODUCTS
Attention: Due to the handmade quality of our shirts, each one is slightly different. SO don't expect it to look exactly like the photo. It is handmade bitches! SO deal with it! We offer different shirt processes. Screenprint: This is a process where we use a special ink that is transferred onto the item via a screen. Bleaching: This process is when we take color out of the item and create a unique one-of-a-kind pattern. Tie-dye: This process we add color to our apparel and create a unique design and pattern. Direct to film: This process we use a Direct to film machine that prints out full colored images that we then transfer onto apparel. Sublimation: This process we use a special printer that prints an image and then we transfer it onto a light-colored shirt with high heat. OUR APPAREL: Our company manufacture and products are handmade in the Fucking USA! Each of your items you purchase is processed by a broke ass single mom! Fabric blends: Ash - 99% Airlume combed and ring-spun cotton, 1% polyester;Heather colors - 52% cotton, 48% polyester;Athletic Heather and Black Heather - 90% cotton, 10% polyester. Any and all questions are welcome! We will do our best to get back to you as soon as possible. Sincerely, The Fukery!
►CARE INSTRUCTIONS:
►CARE INSTRUCTIONS:
We do all the work for you. All our products are processed in house. There are no special instructions or extra care. You do not need to be Suzie Homemaker to keep your products top notch! Throw that shit in the washer and say a prayer. You got this!
Also, all our products are unisex and made in the USA, therefore your sizes are true and already pre-shrunk so don't sweat and eat that cake!
Our products can be washed at home with all your other shit.
►SHIPPING & PRODUCTION TIME:
►SHIPPING & PRODUCTION TIME:
Orders will ship in 3-7 business days. (This is not including weekends! So keep your panties in a bunch. Your shit will come and it will be amazing)
►RETURNS, CANCELLATIONS, EXCHANGES, & QUESTIONS:
►RETURNS, CANCELLATIONS, EXCHANGES, & QUESTIONS:
Please note we do NOT accept any returns/exchanges on our products.
If you encounter an issue with your order, and you must bitch about it, please reach out to us right away before leaving a negative review, so we can make things right. If you can't do this.... Then you are just a little bitch and you enjoy taking down small businesses and we don't need your money.
If you must cancel an order, don't be a douche canoe and wait more than 2hrs. Our single moms are counting on you for your orders so they don't have to hit the pole. Shit is expensive right now.
Any and all questions are welcome! We will do our best to get back to you as soon as possible.
Sincerely,
The Fukery!
